"The Oreo is as basic to the fabric of American culture as Coca-Cola, the Marlboro Man, a Chevy Impala, or speeding tickets. They're the standard bill o' fare at Boy Scout Eagle ceremonies, Red Cross blood drives and virtually every hurricane relief center.

"But while there is great disucssion amoung Real Men over the virtues of double-stuffed Oreos versus the purist's standard cookie, there's one thing everyone agrees on: The only way to eat this fabled delicacy is to split it in half and eat the center first.

"(The psychological reasons for this are many and varied; some liken it to the opening of the Wild West, others, to the aphrodisiac quality of oysters. For more information on the subject, we refer you to the exhaustive research paper, 'The Psycholinguistic and Socioeconomic Implications of Oreo Opening on Twentieth-Century Mandkind' by Drs. Asher and Schofield, Our Mother of Perpetual Motion University, 1957. This document may still be classified. If so, we recommend suing under the Freedom of Information Act.

"With this energy-saving recipe, you'll be able to eliminate the tedious, labor-intensive process of breaking open the Oreos and just get down to eating the centers.

"If all of this seems confusing, just remember one thing: The French people open bottles of wine; Real Men open Oreos."

Oreo Centers

In a large bowl, beat all ingredients together until mixture is firm and fluffy. Yield: 1-1/4 cups.

from Real Men Don't Cook Quiche, The Real Man's Cookbook by Scott Redman